ya Allah

a poem

i rock forward whispering Your names
Your Divine names

in my hand sits this emerald book You gifted us
it was once heavy with the weight of what i never knew, but it now lifts
me off this carpet and into Your orbit

i am light as a cloud when i enter
this dunya looks too small, how could i forget You
shrouded in Your clouds, i ask for forgiveness

i press my forehead into the carpet and it reprimands me with microscopic cuts 
for not grounding myself sooner
for not coming to You first

i cup my sweaty palms
they tremble, they fear, they hope
i whisper 

and then i beg
my belly heaves with sobs
my arms give out and the carpet burn spreads

You press this small earth back

You lift me up, move me through
i’d be a ghost without
no means, just drifting

i can’t see, please guide me to Your light
encapsulate me in it ya Allah
embeds It's rays into my skin

if im not worthy, i beg you to make me so